Wonder

This reflection that I see across the way refuses to look at me.

I try to attract his attention but he does not notice my presence.

Is this how I view myself?

Out of the way?

Can I see myself, ever?

Then I begin to wonder if anyone has ever noticed who I really am or if they just see my reflection.

That person I know exists but fails to acknowledge me.

If I waved my arms and jumped up and down, I am sure he would still ignore me.

And while my hand goes through the glass with anger, my lips gently curl upward in the wake of my victory.

I've adopted a mantra now.

If you refuse to acknowledge I exist, I will break you whether it be your spirit, your heart, your success or the world in which you live.

I also wonder if that's too cruel to inflict on everyone.

Perhaps, I will simply or not so simply force those who deny my claim on this earth to let me know they know I am here.

My draining facial expressions don't help me much though.

Maybe my comprehension of this world is jaded.

I should pull myself out of my hat, remove my misconceptions from the back burner, and confront them.

Throw them in my own face and battle them until they are dead, dying on the steps of my mind where I can lock the door and leave them outside in the cold to wander away and possibly bury themselves into the minds of others who must learn to fight them and conquer them alone.

Like I will most likely have to eventually.

But first, I must be willing to face these demons and remove these skeletons from my closet.

Lead them to the exit sign above my own third eye.

I wonder if I will ever fully commit to myself, to this war that I know must begin.

Until that day, I shall force myself upon the universe that cannot see me standing here as I am.

I wonder if I will have to change myself.

I wonder if I do so, will anybody recognize me anymore?